


When Pandering to whims goes wrong...

by kaminikaku



Category: Gokusen (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-08
Updated: 2011-01-08
Packaged: 2017-10-14 13:37:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/149749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaminikaku/pseuds/kaminikaku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hayato has a surprise for Ryu, and just for a moment he forgets where he is and what he is doing, and acts on a whim.  The consequences might change everything; for both of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Pandering to whims goes wrong...

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of violence, some possibly distressing images and a bit of swearing..they account mainly for the higher than PG rating.
> 
> This was written as part of the 2010 je_holiday fic exchange, for ljuser hilaryscribbles.

Maybe if Hayato had thought about it for longer than a second, things would have ended up differently.  Then again, maybe not.  There were only so many ways it could have ended, and they probably only range from disastrous to apocalyptic.  A small chance that the cute intention might have played a mitigating factor, but in the end his attempt at sweetness only added insult to injury.

It was not like he had been trying to hurt Ryu.  Not in any way!   He would never hurt Ryu deliberately, and he never had done ... well that was not quite true, OK there was that time in high school where Ryu had bowed to Ara High and betrayed him and they had fought and there had been punches thrown and split lips, broken skin and bruises, and Ryu being exiled for weeks.   So, he had hurt Ryu before, but it wasn't like Ryu couldn't hold his own and give back just as good as he got, and Ryu had a mean right hook, you know, and this well this was totally different.

This time Ryu was in hospital, and it was Christmas Eve and he was hurt and Hayato had hurt him, and he had not meant to, and what was he going to tell his family and the guys, and he had not meant to hurt him!  Hayato rested his head back against the wall, and tried to take a few deep breaths.  Ryu would be alright surely.  The doctors would have come back by now to tell him if it was anything serious ... unless it was so serious that every minute counted and there was a chance that … that Ryu was dying ... and there had been a lot of blood ... and oh no ... Hayato pushed his head back harder and closed his eyes tightly, trying desperately not to throw up.

“Hayato?”  He forced his eyes open, and there was Tsuchiya standing in front of him.  “Hayato, what happened?”

“Tsuchiya?  Why are you here?”  Hayato said slowly, confusion clear in his voice.

“Miyazaki-san called me.”  As Hayato made no sign of recognition, Tsuchiya added, “Don't you remember her?  She was that Momo High girl who I caught shoplifting, the one that Yankumi helped.  We kept in touch, and she's studying to be a doctor now, and she's here.  She remembers your name, and she remembers Ryu from back then too.  And ...”  He paused, then continued, “You are a bit noticeable at the moment!  She called me and said I should come as soon as I could.  So, tell me, what happened?”

“I hurt Ryu.”

Tsuchiya quietly sat down beside him.  “How?”

“I ... I went to ... I...”  Hayato stumbled over his words.  “He fell and hit his head and I think I broke his leg, too.”

“If he fell, then why do you think you hurt him?”

“Because he fell after I pushed him.”

Before he could ask Hayato why he had pushed Ryu in the first place, a little girl tugged on Hayato's arm.  “Are you alright?”  Her eyes were worried, and her mouth turned down into a frown.  “There is blood on you.”

Hayato stared at her, then began to frantically brush his hands over the blood staining his chest.  Tsuchiya grabbed his arms, forcing him to be still, while he managed a smile at the little girl.  “He's ok.  His friend had an accident, and that's why he's sad.”

She nodded, her pigtails swaying.  “Ok.  I hope your friend gets better soon, Panda-san!”  She waved, and ran down the hallway to join a rather harried looking woman who scooped her up into a hug.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Tsuchiya said, “I have to ask.  Why are you wearing a Panda suit?”

Hayato closed his eyes again, took a deep breath, and to his horror found he could not speak.  He took another breath, tried again, and then shook his head.

Quietly, Tsuchiya patted Hayato on the shoulder, and then used both hands to pull the panda head away from the body of the suit. Hayato's face was pale and drawn, and his eyes were red-rimmed and wet. Tsuchiya waited patiently, then proved to know Hayato very well by realizing that he needed some time to compose himself.  He stood and said, “I'll get us some coffee.  You wait here for them to bring us news about Ryu.”

Tsuchiya barely made it around the nearest corner, before he was texting Take to see if he could call him.  As soon as the smiley face arrived, he dialed.  Take picked up on the first ring.

“What's up?  If you want to know which beer, always Sapporo over Asahi.”

“How many times do I have to tell you Asahi is better?”  Tsuchiya gripped the phone hard, knowing he was about to spoil Take's mood, but also aware that if he was not told he would be very upset, and he did not ever want to face a pissed off Take again.  “Where are you now?”

“On my way to the supermarket to pick up some more snacks. I was planning on picking up beer but then thought it might be better to wait until after we all got to Hayato's to see what people wanted,”  Take paused, Tsuchiya sounded odd, which set alarms going.  “Why are you calling me?”

“Don't freak out.”  Tsuchiya paused, and then said hurriedly.  “Sorry that's a stupid thing to say.  Seriously, I think everything is ok, but please don't freak out!”

“What's wrong?”

Tsuchiya winced at the tone, yes he was definitely not good at this sort of thing.  “Take, I am at the hospital.  Hayato's here and so is Ryu.”

Take took a deep breath and asked the question.  “Just tell me.  Who is hurt?”

Tsuchiya breathed out.  Trust Take to find the way for them to have this conversation.  “Ryu is.”

“Are you and Hayato ok?”

“Yes.”

“How badly is Ryu hurt?”

“I don't know.”

“How was he hurt?”

“I don't know.”

“Does Hayato know?”

“Yes.”

“Did you ask him?”

“Yes.  He couldn't tell me.”

“Ok.  Are you at the local hospital?”

“Yes. “

“I'll come now.”

“Take?”

“Yes?”

“Hayato's wearing a panda suit.”

“What?”

“Hayato's wearing a Panda suit.  Well, most of it.  He's not wearing the head anymore.  He is wearing the body though.  It's kinda fluffy and black and white.”

“Ok.”  Take struggled for an answer, could not find one, and finally said, “Ok.  I'm coming now.”

They hung up, and Tsuchiya went back to Hayato's side, while Take headed for his car.  As he slid into the driver's seat, he stopped, a vague memory of a conversation he had with Hayato a few weeks ago coming to mind.  Something about a promotional Christmas Eve event for Hayato's company, and good money, and even if it was ridiculous it would be a good way to earn some extra cash, but it was embarrassing and he did not want anyone, but especially not Ryu to find out ... That was it.  He remembered now.  He had encouraged Hayato to do it, especially if it would help financially.  Still, how that related to Ryu being in hospital and Hayato in a panda suit ... well, they could work that out once he got there.

It took Take longer than he would have liked due to the light snow that had been falling all evening, but when he finally arrived nothing had changed.  Tsuchiya was sitting next to Hayato, and Hayato was indeed dressed in a panda suit. He sat down on the spare seat beside Hayato, and said, “Well this wasn't how I thought we would be spending Christmas Eve.”

Hayato didn't respond, and Tsuchiya gave him a small smile.  “Well we could be out with girlfriends or something.”

“Speaking of which, I left Hyuuga to have his date in peace.  We can call him if Ryu really is seriously hurt.”  Hayato refused to meet his eyes, so Take asked directly, “How badly is Ryu hurt?”

Hayato shook his head slightly, the first sign of life since Take had arrived.  Tsuchiya sighed.  “We are still waiting for news about him.”  Take and Tsuchiya shared a long, silent look over Hayato's bowed head.

Take poked Hayato gently in the chest, avoiding the red patches as best he could.  “Hayato, how did Ryu get hurt?”

“My fault.  I pushed him, and he fell.”

“More details, Hayato.  Why did you push him? Where were you?  Why are you in a Panda suit?”

Hayato looked down at himself, then shook his head and tried to brush the blood of his chest again.  “Work, I had work, this was for work.”  His movements became more frantic and Take grabbed his hands, forcing them as gently as he could back to his sides.  Take caught his gaze, and saw how Hayato's eyes were slightly glassy and unfocussed.

Without looking away from Hayato, Take said “Tsuichhi, I think he is in shock. Can you get him some tea, very strong and a fair amount of sugar?  Not boiling hot though.”  Tsuchiya nodded and Take moved to stand in front of Hayato.  “Were you hurt at all Hayato?  Did you hit your head?  Did you cut yourself?” He shook him gently by the shoulders.  “Please answer me.  Are you hurt?”

Hayato shook his head, and whispered, “No.  I fell onto him, Take.  I hurt him.”

Take then did something he would never have thought he would ever have do to Hayato, and probably never would again, and only managed it now because Hayato was not himself and was wearing a panda suit.  He patted him gently on the head, three times.  Hayato was scared and shocked and worried, but if he was not injured, then it would be fine.  Ryu would be fine too.  Surely.  Tsuchiya returned soon after with the sweet tea, and together they encouraged Hayato to drink it.

“Now, tell us what happened,” Take encouraged gently.  “I remember you told me that you had a special promotion for work.  Is the panda suit part of that?  Is that why you are wearing it?”

Hayato nodded, and Tsuchiya was glad to see that there was a little more colour in his cheeks.  “One of our biggest clients is Kirin.  They are launching a new line, limited only for Christmas and January.  It's a hot green tea spiced with cinnamon.”

Take and Tsuchiya smiled quickly at each other, silently agreeing that they needed to keep him talking.  “Why the panda suit?”

“Their image character's a panda, so they wanted lots of pandas running around handing out bottles of tea.”  Hayato's hands began to shake, and Tsuchiya took the thankfully empty cup away from him.  “They couldn't get enough volunteers to do it because it's Christmas Eve, and my team got assigned to help.”

“And you wouldn't ask any of your team to do something that you would not,” Take stated quietly.  “You never have.”

“That explains the suit,” Tsuchiya prodded, “What about Ryu?  Why was he even there if it was your work thing?”

Hayato paused, obviously looking for the words to describe what he needed to tell them.  It wasn't easy, and it would sound stupid, and there was a real chance that they would laugh at him, and never treat him seriously again.  It had been stupid, he knew that now, but at the time he had just wanted to...well tease him a bit.  Ok, maybe a lot.  Not daring to look at his friends, he said softly, “He was there to meet me. I asked him to come and pick me up, because I had a surprise for him.  He was meant to be there at 8 to meet me, but he got there earlier.”  He dared to steal a glance at Take.  “I ... I got the concert tickets, Take.  I got those tickets he really wanted from a colleague. He's been working so hard and I thought they would cheer him up.”

Take squeezed his shoulder.  “They will.  I am sure they will.”

“I saw him coming down the street, and I guess, I just forgot I was wearing the suit.  I stepped in front of him and he just ignored me, tried to walk around me.  So, I ... I just kind of ... well I grabbed him.”

While Take looked stunned, Tsuchiya looked faintly appalled and asked, “Are you seriously telling us that you glomped Odagiri Ryu?  In the middle of the street?”

Hayato bit his lip, and nodded.  “He tried to get away, and I tried to tell him it was me, but I don't think he heard me.  I had him in a bear hug I guess and he kept trying to get away. I kept trying to tell him it was me, but he started to punch and kick me, and as I tried to let him go, I was pushing his punches away, and ... and..”

“And?”  Take and Tsuchiya asked together.

“He threw a really hard punch at my head, and I pushed it away, and he fell. The ground was slippery because of the snow, and when I pushed him back, he fell.  He took me down as well, and I landed on his legs.  His head ... he hit his head on the gutter, and there was blood. There was so much blood.  It was everywhere, and he was so still, and he didn't answer and it was so cold, and the blood was warm, and it was everywhere...”  Hayato dragged a deep shuddering breath deep in his lungs, as Tsuchiya threw an arm around his shoulders.  “They must have called an ambulance, because they came, and they dragged him away from me, and they put me in the ambulance with them, and they brought me here, and … and they still haven't told me anything about him.”

“It will be ok, Hayato,” Take said soothingly.  “It was an accident.  Ryu will forgive you, and he will understand.  He will be fine.”

“How do you know that?” Hayato snapped, and even Tsuchiya recoiled.  “How do you know anything?  You didn't see him lying there.  You didn't see him. I pushed him and he hit his head, and he did not wake up no matter what I said, or how hard I shook him, and they took him away.  If he was ok, why haven't they come back to tell us?  Why?”

Tsuchiya stood up, and waited for Hayato look up at him.  “I'll go and find Miyazaki-san and ask how Ryu is.”

Take sat quietly beside Hayato, and waited for news.  When it finally came, it was good.

Miyazaki explained that Ryu was under observation, but they considered his condition to be stable.  He had a badly sprained left ankle; it was not broken as Hayato had feared, but it would take time to heal.  His head wound was more worrying, and had taken a lot longer to diagnose.  They had feared he had a fractured skull, but CAT scans had shown no fracture.  Instead, he had concussion and stitches and much to Hayato's relief, he would be ok.  He was still unconscious, but that was now due to drugs which were keeping the  pain at bay.  He would be fine.  Eventually.

Miyazaki refused to allow Hayato or any of them to stay, she insisted they all go home and rest.  Hayato only agreed to leave when Miyazaki agreed that they could all see Ryu in the morning.   Take drove a relieved Tsuchiya and a very quiet panda home.

**

The next day, Hayato snuck into Ryu's hospital room soon after breakfast was served.  Ryu was still asleep, and he sank into the chair sitting beside the bed.  Ryu's hand was cold, and no matter how hard he tried to rub warmth into his fingers, it stayed cold.  His chest rose and fell slowly, and Hayato hated every sound and movement from the machines that tracked his breathing and his heartbeat.  He looked pale, so pale and still, and his hand was so cold, but every time he checked Ryu's chest was rising and falling.  Hayato curled his long slender fingers around Ryu's delicate wrist.  He could feel the pulse at his wrist; the steady thump of Ryu's heart.  He would be ok, Miyazaki had promised.  Ryu would be fine.  He would wake up and he would be fine.

Take and Tsuchiya arrived hours later, and found Hayato silently sitting beside Ryu.  When Ryu stirred an hour after that, and the machines changed their rhythm to signal he was regaining consciousness, Hayato stiffened, and when Ryu finally opened his eyes, Hayato dropped his hand and bolted out of the room, ignoring Tsuchiya's and Take's demands to wait.

**

It took Ryu a few hours to get everything straight in his own head as to how and why he was in hospital.  Take couldn't blame him, after all the last thing he remembered was being glomped by a panda in the street, which would be enough for anyone to question their memory.  The events of the past day came back to him slowly, and they filled in the blanks for him as much as they were able to, although Take was not able to keep Hayato's secret about his intended concert ticket surprise very long.  It did not take Ryu long to work out that it must have been Hayato in the panda suit – under other circumstances they might even have been proud of how quickly he worked it out.

As it was, Ryu went very quiet and still.  Tsuchiya joked that it was just like the big idiot Yabuki to do something like that without thinking, and Ryu nodded but did not reply.  Take laid a careful hand on Ryu's arm and said that Hayato didn't mean any harm.

Ryu frowned at that and said sharply, “Whether he meant it or not, he put me in hospital.”

“And if you think for even a moment that he is not feeling guilty about that, you are as much of an idiot as he is,” Tsuchiya stated.  Ryu did not look up, and Tsuchiya pushed a little harder.  “I am not saying you need to forgive him straight away, but if you had seen him last night, Ryu...”

“That would have been a bit hard, seeing I was suffering concussion gained from him pushing me onto icy concrete!”  Ryu snapped back and then raised his free hand to rub at his right temple, carefully avoiding the stitches.

Take and Tsuchiya shared a glance, and then Take shook his head motioning for Tsuchiya to leave them for a bit.  “I'll get some coffee.  Any requests?  Take? Ryu?”

Take declined, and Ryu shook his head gingerly.  After the door closed, Take tightened his grip on Ryu's wrist.  “Out with it.”

“Out with what?”

“Why you are so angry at Hayato?”

“Why wouldn't I be angry at him?  The idiot gave me concussion and a sprained ankle just because he is an idiot.”

“That's not fair, and you know it.”

“Seriously, who would jump a person in the street, at night, in the dark, while wearing a panda suit?”

“Someone who was glad to see you, and forgot he was wearing a panda suit?”  Take said quietly, and then noted with interest the slight colour that rose on Ryu's cheeks.  “Someone who had a surprise that he worked hard to get for you, and was excited about your reaction?  Someone who cares about you, and was really worried about you last night?”

Ryu snorted.  “Really?  Someone who cares so much he could not be bothered to see if I am really ok?”  He glared at Take, and gradually became uncomfortable under the steady gaze that Take gave him in return.

“Odagiri Ryu.  Are you actually trying to tell me that you are unaware of how deeply Hayato values you?  Your friendship?  Your support?  Have you forgotten what we went through and what we did?”

Ryu stayed silent but Take did not miss the way he struggled to hold his gaze.

“We have never really talked about the Ara High thing, have we?  I know that he hurt you with his reaction, and it was unjust and I should never have put you in a position like that.  I know that Ryu, but did you never ask yourself why I stood beside him?  I knew you would continue rejecting me every time I tried to help, but Ryu ... every time your name was mentioned it was like he was hearing it again for the first time.  He never hated you.  He never got beyond betrayal and hurt.”

“That has nothing to do with this,”  Ryu said.  “It's in the past anyway, we have made our peace, and we both made mistakes, but...”

“But you don't feel completely secure in his friendship. Somewhere deep inside, you wonder what could turn him against you.  You didn't believe that he would do it the first time, but he did and it was vicious.  So now you are waiting for the second time that he turns away, and you don't see what is actually there to be seen.  What does he need to do for you to believe in him?”

“I do believe in him.”

“Then how could you believe, even for a second, that he would mean you any harm?”

Ryu fidgeted.  “I'm not saying that he would deliberately hurt me, I just...” He trailed off, and Take leapt upon the opening.

“Just what?  What else happened?

“Nothing else happened.”

Take smiled gently and squeezed Ryu's wrist.  “Most people would believe you Ryu, but not me.  Hayato was devastated last night, and your reaction just now … something else happened last night.  What was it?”

“Nothing.”

“Ryu.  Last night I sat beside Hayato, who was wearing a panda suit stained with your blood, and he was almost unable to speak.  Yes he was worried about you, yes he was feeling guilty about the accident and about you being hurt, yes he was feeling stupid and afraid.  Why would he think you would be angry at him? As it is, that's the only reason I can think of why he bolted as soon as you woke up.  What else happened?”

Ryu bit his lip, and Take knew he was right.

“Tell me.”

“He ... after he hugged me, he ... he groped me.”

“He groped you?  As in...”

Ryu nodded.  “As in both hands, full on, no holds barred, groping of my ass.”

“I take it back Ryu, he is an idiot, and you should never speak to him again.”

Ryu blinked at him.

“So he groped you, and that was the point at which you started throwing punches, right?”

Ryu nodded.

“And then you fell, and hit your head, and ended up in hospital.”  Take sighed.  “I am sorry Ryu. I didn't realise.  I thought that there was a chance that you felt the same way, which is why I've been encouraging Hayato to find a way to conf … wait a minute. You started throwing punches after he groped you?”

Ryu nodded warily.

“And you didn't know it was him?”

Ryu nodded again.

“So it would have been different if you had known it was Hayato in the panda suit?”

Ryu nodded, and then said, “Hang on a minute.”

“The truth now, Ryu.  It's important.  Would it have made a difference if you had known it was Hayato?”

Ryu paused and then nodded.  Reluctantly, but he nodded.  Take grinned.  “I knew I couldn't have been reading you so completely wrong!”

“Take,” Ryu warned.

“Ok,”  Take said.  “Tell me right now, right here and now, that you don't care about Hayato at all, and I will not say another word.

Ryu opened his mouth, searching for any words at all that would help, but he had none.

“Exactly.  When you get out of here, you sort this out with Hayato.”  Take watched the flash of fear and uncertainty in Ryu eyes, and softened his tone. “You deserve to be happy Ryu.  You both do.”

**

Ryu was released from hospital the next day, and Take and Tsuchiya were there to pick him up in Take's car. Unbeknownst to Ryu, Hayato had also been there, watching over him as he slept, and slipping out as he woke up. Tsuchiya had caught him in the hallway, and Hayato had refused to come back with him, claiming he was busy with explanations for his work colleagues.  When he said that Ryu wouldn't want to see him anyway, Tsuchiya pinned him with a stare that could cut glass, and told him he was an idiot first for causing the accident but even more of an idiot for running away from a friend who was worried about him. For a moment, Hayato wavered, but then he left, convinced that Ryu wouldn't really want to see him.

Knowing that Hayato could prove to be even more stubborn than they imagined, Take headed for Hayato's flat after Ryu was discharged.  With Tsuchiya's help, and an admittedly not in top form Ryu, they managed to bundle a protesting Ryu into Hayato's flat, where they left him in a protesting Hayato's care.

When Ryu apologized stiffly for the inconvenience his presence was causing, Hayato growled back that he was not any inconvenience at all and he knew damn well that he was welcome in Hayato's home at any time.

A few minutes later, a more subdued Hayato asked if Ryu was in any pain, and did he need anything.

Ryu, seeing what looked like concern, answered truthfully that his head ached a bit, but they had left him with pills to take for the pain.

A few minutes after that, Hayato formally apologized and asked Ryu's forgiveness for the hurt he had caused.  Ryu grunted in response.

A few minutes after that, Hayato asked if Ryu was angry at him for being so stupid.  Ryu said he was.  Hayato apologized again.  Ryu told him he was an idiot, and should be grateful that his best friend already knew that.

Ten minutes later, Hayato asked Ryu if he wanted to watch some television.  Ryu nodded, and they settled down to watch an episode of One Piece.  Halfway though, Hayato asked if he was hungry, and did he want to have dinner later and use the kotatsu.  Ryu nodded.

Ten minutes after that, Take pulled away from the kerb with Tsuchiya beside him, convinced that if neither Hayato nor Ryu had stormed out of the building, it was safe to leave them alone to sort out their problem.  He just hoped that both of them would be honest about how they really felt.

**  
Exhaustion had finally caught up with Ryu, and he had fallen asleep with his legs curled under the kotatsu and his head laid peacefully against the table.  Hayato winced once more at the stitches that marred his skin.  Another few inches to the right and they would have had to shave a section of his hair off, or a few to the left and he could have hurt his eye.  At least the stitches should not scar, even after all their adventures as the leaders of 3D Ryu only had a few visible scars.  Ryu seemed to bruise easily, but not to scar. He was not fragile, Hayato knew that, but sometimes, especially now when he had been the cause, all he could see was the injury and the pain he had caused.  His carelessness.  His stupidity. He could taste the guilt on his tongue.

“It doesn't hurt that much, so stop worrying about it.”

Hayato jumped and then realised that Ryu had one eye open.

“I've had worse, so why are you so freaked out this time?”

Hayato's first thought was immediately to deny it, to change the subject, duck and weave to avoid it, and then suddenly a little voice that sounded a lot like Take told him to tell the truth, so he answered honestly.  “I hurt you.  I didn't mean to, and it was an accident, but I hurt you.  You are in pain because of what I did.”

Ryu opened his mouth, an objection obviously forthcoming, and Hayato hurried to continue, “I know it was an accident, but still, I am sorry Ryu.  I don't ever want you to be in pain because of something I did.”  He knelt beside Ryu, and bowed his head.  “I am sorry, and I won't ever hurt you again, I promise.”

Ryu stretched out a hand, and stroked it gently over Hayato's hair, and tried to ignore the way Hayato stiffened.  “Idiot.  I know you didn't mean it.”  The sight of Hayato being so careful around him, so quiet and repressed was disturbing him more than he cared to admit, and now it made more sense.  Take was right.  Hayato was definitely not himself tonight, and Ryu was sure that brushing off his injuries as a simple accident and saying Hayato was clumsy as usual wouldn't be a good thing.  “Hayato, it was an accident.  Neither of us meant it to happen, it just did.  You are my friend, and you would never hurt me intentionally.  Unless I go and bow to Ara High again of course.”  Ryu grinned at him, expecting to see a similar expression on Hayato's face.  He grabbed Hayato's arm as he moved away.  “No.  That was a joke, Hayato and you know it.” He gripped harder, keeping Hayato beside him.  “Please stop it.  Stop treating me like I'm different somehow.  I'm the same person.”

Hayato shook his head and said quietly, “I can't.”

“You are really starting to piss me off Hayato.  If anyone should be angry here, I think I have a right to be!"  Hayato looked at him in surprise, Ryu looked incensed.    "You attacked me in the street, you pushed me over, you weren't there when I woke up, you've been avoiding me, and now you are all quiet and careful and not yourself.  What am I meant to think?"

 "No!”  Ryu yelled, as he saw Hayato trying to say something in response.  "No.  If it's the word sorry, I don't want to hear it.  I want to know where my best friend is.  I want to know what you've done with him.  Hayato is not a coward, and he's not afraid of anything.  What is wrong with you?"

“I thought you were dead.  I thought you were dead!  I thought I had fucking killed you.  I thought you were dead and it was my fault because I was stupid and I hurt you.  And I didn't know how I could live with knowing that!”  The words burst out of Hayato, and they both knew they were nothing but the truth. 

Hayato pulled away and began to pace across the room.  "You were covered in blood.  The moment you started to fall, I tried to grab you, I swear I tried to stop you, but you just fell.  When I landed on you, I thought I broke your leg, but when ... after they took you away I realised that it was your head hitting the gutter … that I … I heard your head hit the gutter, and it was so loud, and there was so much blood.  I picked you up, and I shook you a bit, and I kept asking you to wake up, and you never did.  Living without you isn't something I can do anymore.  I know that.  What happened with Ara High was hard enough, but when I thought you really were dead, I lost it.  Ryu, I didn't know what I was going to..."

Ryu struggled to his feet, and grabbed at Hayato's arm as he came past.  Hayato skidded to a stop, which threw Ryu slightly off balance.  There was no chance of him falling, but Hayato grabbed him in a bear hug anyway, and clutched him to the safety of his chest.  "I've got you, I've got you, I've got you."

"You have,"  said Ryu, laying his head against Hayato's shoulder.  "I know you have."  He could hear the steady drumming of Hayato's heart, and could feel the strength in his arms around him.

"Does your head hurt?  Do you need to sit down?  Do I need to get you some pills?"

Ryu circled his arms around Hayato, and clung to him.  He shook his head, "No, I'm just a bit dizzy.  Just stay here.  Stay still."  Ryu hid a smile as Hayato held him closer, and stroked soothing circles on his back. He could still hear his heart pounding.  The words slipped out without any conscious thought.  "You care about me."

Hayato paused but did not retreat.  "Of course I do.  You are my best friend."  The way his heart was now hammering at full speed, gave Ryu strength.

"Not just that.  You care about me."  Ryu pulled back slightly, and laid his hand against Hayato's cheek, turning his face towards him.  "More than as friends."

Hayato held his gaze silently, neither confirming or denying it.  Yabuki Hayato was no coward; finally he nodded.  He watched Ryu's face, then finally said, "I'm sorry, Ryu,  I won't let it ruin anything between..."

Ryu simply raised his other hand, and dragged Hayato's head down so he could kiss him.   When they finally broke apart, he said, "Idiot."

"What?  Ryu! Don't call me that!" Hayato protested.

"You are an idiot.  You caused this, and then you ran away, and just for a second there I thought you were even going to deny it.  I had to kiss you.  Idiot!"  Ryu pulled him into another kiss.

"You...don't mind then?"  Hayato asked cautiously, not quite sure he trusted this turn of events.

"Does it look like I mind?"  Ryu asked, raising an eyebrow and then wincing as his stitches pulled.

"I just need to be sure," Hayato said quietly, gently stroking Ryu's hair away from the wound.  "I've wanted this for a long time, and it doesn't seem real."

Ryu rested his head in the curve of Hayato's neck and took a deep breath.  "When I woke up and you weren't there, I ... panicked a bit.  They told me how hurt I was, so I asked about you and Tsuchiya just kept saying you were an idiot, which we already knew, and then finally Take said you weren't hurt.  Just like that.  'Ryu, Hayato is not hurt.'  That's all he said.  And you weren't there.  That hurt."

"I couldn't face you.  If you told me to stay away and leave you alone, I...I couldn't hear that."  Hayato ran his thumb over Ryu's jaw.  "I was there.  While you were sleeping, I was there."

"They told me.  Take also told me why you jumped me." 

"I'll kill him, he promised he would never..." growled Hayato, and Ryu smirked and then clutched at his shirt, trying to stop him moving away.  

"Be grateful he did, otherwise I would never have said anything,"  Ryu said.  "And don't move, my stomach is not happy."

"Sit down, I'll get your pain pills." Hayato gently pushed him down onto a cushion, and ran towards Ryu's bag to get the pills.  "These ones, or are they these ones? Which ones for your stomach?"

Ryu sighed, and the familiar sound stopped Hayato in his tracks.  Hayato grinned at him.   "You don't have pills for your stomach."

"That's right."  Ryu stretched out his hand, and Hayato took it.  Ryu pulled as hard as he could, dragging Hayato down to the floor beside him.  "Stay here.  My head is starting to feel a bit fuzzy."

"Ok."  Hayato easily slipped his arms around Ryu.  "Do you need to sleep?"

"Soon, probably.  We need to finish discussing this first.  To be clear.  You care about me.  I care about you."

Hayato nodded.

Ryu dragged his bag closer, and squashed in the bottom he found a crushed box in a ripped paper bag.  "I've bought one of these, each Christmas, for the past five years."  He opened the box, and showed it to Hayato.  "Just in case you ever think my head injury was responsible for tonight."  Hayato looked puzzled and Ryu pointed at the box.  "Strawberry cake.  I have bought us strawberry cake, every year, and never given it to you."

Ryu fought to keep his face still as the realization dawned, and Hayato's smile grew larger and brighter. 

He pressed a soft, gentle kiss against Ryu's mouth.  "Really?"

"Really."  Another kiss followed the first, and they smiled at each other.  "And if you ever tell Take, I will never speak to you again."

Hayato frowned slightly.  "Take has been telling me for months that I needed to make a move and tell you how I felt.  He's on our side."

"I know.  He told me about the concert tickets.  He convinced me that I should tell you how I felt."

"I'm glad he did...hang on, you told me how I felt."

Ryu smiled and nestled close to his loved one.  "I did.  I thought you should confess first, given you had hugged and groped me in public."

"It won't happen again."

"It can you know."

"What?"

Ryu sat up and gave him a serious look.  "I have no problem with you hugging me in public.  It was the fact that I didn't know it was you, and then you groped me.  That's what annoyed me."

"Oh," Hayato said, and then smirked.  "So if I dress up in a bunny costume at Easter, what can I get away with?"

Ryu pretended to think about it, and finally whispered in Hayato's ear, "I don't know.  We'll have to see how I feel about pandering to your whims, won't we?"


End file.
